I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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