he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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