it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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