Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
