Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
