How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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