I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
