Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
