After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
