i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize