those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
