Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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