It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
