i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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