I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
