You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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