I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
this will be a night to untag.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
