and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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