Tell her she can't have a vagina
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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