Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
