I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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