i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
