I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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