She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
