maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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