I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
