why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
