I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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