it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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