she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
