no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize