Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
