If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
