she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize