she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
