You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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