Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
