You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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