yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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