I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
