Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
either way he was missing a nipple.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
