it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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