you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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