Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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