I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
