Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize