She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
