she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
