I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
