My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
