Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
