Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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