So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Brb crying the tears of my youth
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize