She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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