I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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