I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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