maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
